Sadness is not the only emotion that stops you from moving on after the narcissist. It’s anger as well, and not just any anger, but righteous and sacred rage. Rage that manifests itself as the desire to take revenge on them, to destroy them. But you, being you, cannot stoop to their level and cannot cause them the type of harm they caused you. So, the question remains: what do we do with this anger? You still feel it, you still want to do something about it. Well, let me give you a blueprint today to defeat a narcissist without fighting them.
Step number one: Invest a lot of time in being compassionate and self-loving. It’s easier said than done, and I’m sure you may have heard this already a hundred times from a hundred different people. That’s why we need to go deep and understand what it means to self-love in the context of healing from narcissistic abuse. After all, self-love is not just bubble baths, it’s not buying yourself stuff, it’s not spending time alone. It’s a lot more than that. Self-love is a journey that begins with self-discovery. That is the first step of it: recognizing who you are. Why? Because with the narcissist, you lost your voice, you lost your identity. They eroded your personality. You became a bunch of trauma responses. You adapted; the functionality of your brain changed only for one purpose, and that was to survive their abuse. Now that you have embarked on the journey of recovery, you have to love yourself by recognizing your voice, by recognizing your space, your existence, allowing yourself to be, and expressing it openly.
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