Narcissists are not known for being humble. They’re typically controlling, entitled, and don’t care much about the feelings of others. But when they start to collapse, something shifts. They start people-pleasing, desperate for the supply they’ve always demanded. They will suddenly act nice, complimenting you, agreeing with you, and doing things for you. It’s like they’re trying to win you over again.
But don’t be fooled; this isn’t humility—this is manipulation. They’re desperate. A narcissistic parent who once ruled their home might start giving compliments they never would have offered before or behaving as if they care more than they truly do. You may even see them give gifts or perform random acts of kindness, but it all feels forced and rehearsed. It’s a performance to win back the admiration they feel slipping away. And here’s the kicker: they won’t appreciate it. The moment you help them, they’ll resent you for it. If you get a narcissistic man back on his feet financially, don’t expect thanks. When he’s back on solid ground, he’s more likely to turn his back on you. That’s just the way they operate.
Sign Three: Anxiety That Turns into Rage
At the core of a silently collapsing narcissist is anxiety, though they will never admit it. The anxiety is there, gnawing at them from the inside. Instead of processing it like a healthy person, it leaks out as rage. They might lash out over small things, like spilling a drink or being mildly criticized, but this isn’t just anger; it’s panic. They know their world is falling apart, and they don’t know how to stop it. It’s like watching sand slip through their fingers. They try to hold it together, but it’s slipping away, and rather than face that panic, they take it out on others.
They snap, insult, and criticize, and beneath that is a desperation you can almost taste. They’re not angry; they’re terrified. Sometimes their rage will come out in passive-aggressive ways—making snide remarks, undermining those around them, or withdrawing affection they once gave freely. It’s a quiet destruction, but it’s destruction all the same. They don’t want you to see it, but they’re desperately trying to hold on to the control they feel slipping away.
Sign Four: The Caught Red-Handed Look in Their Eyes
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