How Covert Narcissists Change Your Personality for the Worse

Today, I want to talk about the personality traits that victims of narcissistic abuse tend to develop. I’m not referring to their true personality, but rather who they become as a result of the abuse. This is true whether it stems from childhood trauma caused by narcissistic parents or a long-term relationship with a narcissist. It’s almost as if we all develop the same kind of personality as a consequence of the abuse.

I want to explain what happens, why it happens, and, most importantly, if you recognize yourself in this, what you can do to reclaim the real you. I always save my tips for the end, so make sure you read through to the conclusion if this resonates with you.

A Wake-Up Call

Early in my recovery journey, I sought help because I believed I was the problem. If you’ve been involved with a narcissist, you know how they convince you they’re perfect. Over time, their manipulation makes you start believing—or at least suspecting—that you’re the issue.

When I sought help, the professional I spoke with told me, “You do realize you’re in an abusive relationship, right?” While part of me felt a sense of relief, another part of me—traumatized and in shock—found it difficult to process. I asked him how he knew, and he explained that victims of narcissistic abuse develop a distinct personality. He likened it to identifying an animal by its tracks—he didn’t need to see the narcissist to recognize the abuse’s imprint.

This insight leads directly to today’s topic: the personality imprint left by narcissistic abuse.

The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

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