Let’s begin by discussing Phase One, which lasts from week one to week four—roughly a month—and I call it the manic relief. The first month is the hardest for you, right? You are crying, looking for closure, trying to understand what happened, what they did to you, and what went wrong. But for them, this is the easiest month—the pink cloud phase. Right now, they feel as if they just broke out of prison.
You must understand that a narcissist views relationships—even a good one—as a cage. They hate accountability and dislike having to answer questions, such as, “Where were you?” or “Why did you spend that money?” When the relationship ends, all that accountability disappears quickly, and they experience a rush of manic energy. They tell everyone who will listen that they are so happy and relieved, painting you as the villain all the time. They create stories about how crazy or controlling you were. They do this to protect their image but also because they believe it. In this phase, they rewrite history to make themselves the hero who escaped a dungeon.
During this time, they often chase a new supply—perhaps a new partner, a new job, or just a new group of friends who do not know their history. To them, everything is fresh and exciting. They receive constant attention and praise because these new people haven’t yet seen the mask slip. The new partner thinks the narcissist is charming and funny, which makes the narcissist feel like a god. They look in the mirror and think, “See, I was right. I am amazing. She was just dragging me down.” They feel zero regret; in fact, they feel superior, which seems contrary to this topic, but stay with me—it will make sense, I assure you.
They see your sadness as weakness and their own lack of emotion as strength. If you try to contact them during this phase for closure or to ask why, they will be cold, cruel, and arrogant. They are high on the drug of newness and want you to know that they are winning.
Phase Two: The Reality Check
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