Avoid trying to rationalize
To get through all those dysfunctional trials with your narcissist, you had to make excuses for their behavior, minimize their abuse, reinterpret their lies, and tiptoe around their self-delusions, in order to keep the peace and justify staying with them. When you miss them now—and you will—you’re going to start rationalizing again, thinking, “Oh, they’re not so bad.”
Don’t fall for it. Remind yourself over and over why you left to avoid getting manipulated by your narcissistic ex or, worse, ending up dating them again.
The best way to do this is to maintain zero contact. Don’t call or text, and block them on social media. There’s a reason the no-contact rule is advice given by most experts. We’ll explain that further at the end of this list.
Reasons why you should never go back to your narcissist ex
Find ways to cope with your anxiety
Your narcissist probably kept you on edge for months or years, and your nervous system is likely still firing along those lines. Leaving may also be feeding into new stresses or fears, making your anxiety even worse. On top of all that, sex has stopped, so you don’t have the dopamine and oxytocin that was helping keep your head above water.
Long, slow deep breathing, yoga, dancing, swimming, and other types of exercise. Do something every day, every time you need it. (Here are a few ways to practice self-care after a breakup.)
Keep busy
With narcissists, a relationship is always about power. They have it; you don’t. You scurry around trying to normalize everything, but you never succeed because they want to keep you scurrying, so they can jerk your chain whenever they feel like it.
This sounds really unpleasant, and it was, but it did fill the time. Now that no one is doing that, there’s a big, empty void in your days. Life just isn’t as exciting anymore.
To cope, keep trying new interests and activities, and make an effort to connect with your friends as much as possible. When you do stay home, meditate to calm your mind. Know that you don’t need to always look outside for fulfillment; it can be found within.
What Narcissists Do When A Relationship Ends
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