Sixth, the refining fire. Think about gold for a second: pure gold doesn’t just fall out of the sky shiny and ready. It’s mined, melted, and put through fire over and over until every impurity burns away. That’s what a narcissist becomes in your life—a fire: brutal, hot, unforgiving, but refining. Every lie they tell, every manipulation they spin, and every moment they try to crush you is heat. In that heat, your illusions melt, your old wounds surface, and your weakness gets stripped bare. You don’t walk out the same way you walked in; you walk out stronger, sharper, wiser. Job 23:10 says, “When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” What the narcissist meant for destruction, God turns into purification. They thought they’d break you; instead, they burned away everything that no longer serves you. When the fire cools, what’s left isn’t fragile; it’s unshakable.
Seventh, the exit sign. Have you ever noticed how you would have never left if they hadn’t pushed you? That’s the final gift of a narcissist: they become your exit sign. Truthfully, most of us would have stayed—out of love, out of fear, out of the hope they would change. But God knew better. When you wouldn’t walk away on your own, He used their betrayal to shove you out the door. The rejection that tore you apart was protection in disguise. Sometimes the only way God can move you into your destiny is by kicking you out of the place you were never meant to remain. So while you cry over the closed door, He’s saying, “Good. That door was a trap. Now I can show you the one I’ve had open all along.”
The narcissist’s cruelty was never the end of your story; it was a redirection—the plot twist, the sign flashing over the wrong room saying, “Not here. Not anymore. Time to move on.” Once you take that exit, you look back and realize what felt like loss was actually liberation.
So let’s bring this all home: that narcissist in your life wasn’t just a curse dropped on your doorstep. They were a thorn meant to push you closer to God. They were a cracked mirror showing you your wounds. They were the drill sergeant forcing you to build boundaries. They crushed the idols of needing approval. They shook you awake when you would have stayed asleep. They burned you like fire, but in that fire, you were refined. In the end, they became the exit sign, pushing you out of the wrong place and onto the right path.
Yes, it was painful. Yes, it cut deep. But pain with purpose is never wasted. Every tear, every betrayal, every sleepless night became a lesson—a setup for growth. Proof that you’re stronger, wiser, and sharper than you ever believed. So don’t look at that narcissist as your downfall; look at them as the unlikely teacher God used to prepare you for your breakthrough. Because what they meant for harm, God turned into fuel. And now you’re not broken; you’re unshakable.
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