Next, we need to break the spell of “I can fix them”—the savior complex. They tell you their sob stories all the time: their crazy acts, their abusive childhood, their parents, their hard life—blah, blah, blah. They play the victim so perfectly that your maternal or paternal instincts kick in. You think you’re the only one who understands them and that you can heal them with your love. But this is a trap. They don’t want to be healed; they want to be enabled. They use their trauma as a “get out of jail free” card for their behaviors.
If you call them out on their abuse, what do they do? Do they take responsibility? No. They cry about their past. Suddenly, you are comforting them for hurting you—it’s a masterclass in deflection. You are not their therapist, and you cannot love the narcissism out of them.
The Final Trap: Seeking Closure
And finally, the spell of closure: the last trap. You want to have one last conversation. You want to explain how much they hurt you. You want them to acknowledge what they did. You think that if they just admitted it, somehow you could move on. The narcissist knows this, and they will withhold closure until the day they die. They will never give you that conversation. If you try, they will gaslight you, blame you, or stare at you with blank eyes. They deny you closure because it keeps the door open; it keeps you thinking about them.
The spell breaks when you realize you do not need their permission to move on. Their silence is the closure; their disrespect is the answer. Take it. Let it in. If you’re nodding your head right now, the spell is already starting to crack.
Conclusion: Breaking Free and Healing
You’re not crazy, and you’re not weak. You were chemically and psychologically manipulated by a predator. But now you see the strings. The wizard is just a fraud behind a curtain. I want you to take a deep breath in and realize you do not need them to breathe; you do not need them to be happy. You were a whole person before them, and you will be a whole person after them. I guarantee this.
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