Narcissists are good at making you believe that their controlling actions are signs of love or concern. They might say things like, “I’m just looking out for you,” or “I only want what’s best for you,” but the truth is, their actions are all about maintaining control. For example, they might try to dictate who you spend time with or what you wear. On top of that, they make you feel guilty if you try to set boundaries. It’s confusing because their behavior looks like care, making you question if they’re looking out for you or controlling your every move. Dr. Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail, explains that they wrap their control in the guise of love, which makes it hard to see the manipulation until you’re deeply entangled in it. This mix of love and control creates emotional chaos. You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, unsure whether you’re doing something wrong or if they’re just being overbearing. The constant confusion leaves you questioning your reality. It can leave you feeling lost because you don’t know the line between their care and control. It’s as if they’ve convinced you their manipulation is necessary for your well-being, and you begin to doubt your judgment. Psychologist Dr. Jennifer Fred calls this psychological abuse, where the victim doubts their reality and stays trapped in manipulation.
In the end, narcissists leave their victims feeling lost and isolated because they know precisely how to manipulate emotions, twist reality, and create confusion. They build up their victims only to tear them down. It’s a way of gaining control and maintaining power while making their victims question their worth and sanity. If you find yourself in a situation like this, it’s important to remember that none of this is your fault. You deserve to feel secure, valued, and understood. Recognizing the signs is the first step in reclaiming your confidence and getting back on track. You don’t have to stay stuck in their web; you can break free and rebuild your sense of self, one step at a time.
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