- Concerned with Image: Covert narcissists are consumed with looking good and maintaining their reputation. They care deeply about being well-liked and respected. Unlike overt narcissists, who don’t care who they offend or whether they apologize, covert narcissists will go to great lengths to cover up their bad behavior. They want to be seen as highly moral and respectable, often associating with organizations that enhance this image.
- False Humility: Covert narcissists often behave in a self-deprecating manner, which gives the impression of humility but is actually disguised pride. They seek compliments and approval, manipulating others while pretending to be concerned about their well-being.
- Pitting People Against Each Other: Covert narcissists create drama by pitting people against each other under the guise of concern. They may gossip or spread lies, intentionally causing conflict while avoiding accountability.
- Victim or Martyr Mentality: They frequently portray themselves as victims, using guilt to manipulate others and provoke feelings of obligation and sympathy. If someone in your life consistently acts like a victim, it’s a red flag for covert narcissism.
- Non-Verbal Communication of Displeasure: Unlike overt narcissists, who express their anger openly, covert narcissists communicate their displeasure through body language and tone. They may use dismissive gestures, condescending tones, or simply act aloof.
- Pathological Envy: Covert narcissists often harbor deep envy toward others’ success. While they may appear to congratulate others, they secretly plot against them and minimize their accomplishments.
- Taking Things Personally: Covert narcissists are hypersensitive and believe they are special, often feeling unrecognized. They can become depressed due to feelings of neglect and might even resort to drastic measures to gain the attention and recognition they crave.
In conclusion, the name of the game with all narcissists is control. Overt narcissists use demands, threats, and intimidation to control others, while covert narcissists use guilt, self-pity, and obligation. Overt narcissists are loud and bold, whereas covert narcissists are shy and vulnerable, portraying themselves as victims.
Sharing is caring!