There is an absolute absence of joy. Deep down, you know it, but you don’t want to accept it. Why? Because realizing it means confronting a lot of pain—accepting that efforts were wasted, time was lost, and opportunities are gone. If you sat down and objectively analyzed your marriage, I guarantee you would find very few good memories. You’d realize that 90% of it has been painful. Why don’t you fully accept this? Because it’s incredibly painful. So, what do you do? You justify things. You justify their behaviors. You hold onto hopeless hope, saying, “I am the cause; I am the reason.” You keep changing yourself because you can’t change them. You adapt until you can’t adapt anymore. The truth is, your marriage is dead—there’s no soul left in it. You need to dissect those rare good memories and ask, “What triggered them? What made them treat me better in that moment? Was it because others were watching?”
Sign number three: Your voice has been silenced.
Peace can only exist if you keep your mouth shut. You cannot have opinions or contribute in any way. They must always be the one making decisions or throwing you under the bus. If you want to survive in this relationship, you have to follow their instructions and abandon your identity to serve their ego. A narcissist cannot tolerate an outspoken or independent partner because it challenges them and exposes their insecurities. To them, you are nothing more than a doormat, meant to be walked over. If this is your situation, you are a single married wife.
Sign number four: There is a total lack of support.
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