Narcissists delusionally believe that they can remain unaffected emotionally in almost all situations. They believe that they have this Herculean strength of staying afloat; they are not impacted by what anybody says to them. That’s how they think. But as you and I both know, their reality is the opposite of what they make it seem to be. They are extremely sensitive; they’re fragile, and a mere touch can collapse their entire structure of narcissistic false self, which is the reason why they perceive everything as some form of personal attack or criticism the moment you open your mouth and tell them something they do not want to hear. They rage at you because they accuse you of blaming them, putting them down. Let’s understand this dynamic further by talking about five phrases that hurt a narcissist to their core.
1. “I don’t trust you; I don’t believe you at all.”
When you tell them, “I don’t trust you; I don’t believe you at all; you are a liar,” this sets the narcissist on fire. Why? Because they expect you to take the words as gospel. You are expected to eat it up like that is your reality. There is no if or but to what they say; that is the fact they think. Rather, they believe that feelings are facts. So when they feel a certain way towards something or somebody, for example, you in this case, if they say, “I know you’re crazy,” that’s their feeling, that’s how they see you, that’s a perception. But to them, it’s not just a perception, it’s not just a perspective; it is a fact about what they’re dealing with.
When you say, “No, I reject that,” you are rejecting the entire existence of a narcissist’s false ego, which is why they punish you. Saying “I don’t trust you; I don’t believe you” to a narcissist is akin to saying, “I don’t think you’re as great as you think you are,” or “You are a stupid person,” or “You don’t make any sense.” Essentially, they perceive a personal attack the moment you tell them the truth.
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