This fear applies to their work and their relationships. If they feel they’re becoming irrelevant, they create chaos and unnecessary competition. They’ll cozy up to the person with the most power, ensuring they stay in the loop. This keeps them relevant in the workplace.
In their family, as their children grow, they know they’ll lose control because they can’t reprimand or silence them anymore. If their children aren’t narcissists, they won’t enable the parent and will assert their independence. Narcissists fear losing this ownership and authority. This fear is also evident in how they struggle to stay relevant in modern, trendy times. They might try to keep up with younger generations, even though they don’t truly fit in. Narcissists want to be remembered and will adapt—superficially, of course—to remain important.
Number four: The fear of losing control over their children.
The thought of losing control over your life makes them feel powerless. They hate it when you get married or enter relationships because they want you all to themselves. They can’t handle seeing you grow into your own person, independent of their influence.
Some narcissists will mellow when they sense they’re losing control, while others become more toxic with age, unable to digest reality. Some may pretend to please you, subtly gaslighting you against those you love, like your spouse or children, in a desperate attempt to keep you close.
Number five: The fear of losing the validation of their victimhood.
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