I am addicted to the high of manipulating others. I get a thrill from deceiving you, from controlling you, from making you think you are the problem. I feel really superior when I can control the narrative, when I watch you in pain, when I see that smile on your face turn into a frown, when I see you squeeze your facial muscles in intense sadness and anxiety because of the suffering I’ve caused. Why, you may ask, why do I enjoy it? I enjoy it because I love to see you in pain. It gives me a high. Why do I need that high? I’m deeply insecure. You need to understand that. I don’t have any power over my life, so when I exert control over you, I feel powerful, and it gives me a high—it’s like a hardcore drug for me. Nothing feels as good as that.
In a corporate setting, I will take credit for other people’s work to climb the corporate ladder. I will love-bomb my boss, my manager, just to make sure they see me a certain way so that I can grab that position. In a family setting, as a narcissistic parent, I will pit siblings against each other. I will tell one sibling one story and the other a different story. Why? Because I love to play with them like pawns. When they fight, I love it. I love the fact that it’s been caused by me. Because I can do nothing else—I can’t fix my life. So, why would I let you live a stable one? I will destroy yours as well. I will set it on fire and watch it all burn to the ground.
All of this is to say that a narcissist loves to be the puppeteer in any situation. They love watching family members and friends turn on each other and destroy each other. That’s the game they love to play, and that’s what makes them so malignant in nature.
Number Five: Superstitious Beliefs and Rituals
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