Number one: They will hang up on you if you give them a narcissistic injury.
How can you give them a narcissistic injury? By saying no, refusing to let them control you or the situation, not behaving the way they want you to, or not giving them what they want from you. Hanging up abruptly is a very disrespectful behavior that shows the other person feels entitled and thinks they can get away with it. They can cut you off and later act as if nothing happened, like they’ve done nothing wrong. They won’t give you any space to hold a grudge or be angry. They’ll expect you to just move on.
The problem is, they program you to develop what is called abandonment sensitivity. They make you walk on eggshells, forcing you to filter your words whenever you’re on a phone call with them. You have to speak a certain way, use specific words to keep everything stable. If you say something the narcissist finds unpleasant, their reaction will be instant—they will discard you like a piece of trash. And what does that do to you? It leaves you with a ton of anxiety and panic.
An objective observer might say, “They disrespected you. Why are you anxious? You should be angry. Don’t call them back. Let them suffer. You should be the one abandoning them.” But what happens in reality is often the opposite. Why? Because you’re trauma-bonded, and your brain tries to fix the situation. How does it do so? By calling them continuously, apologizing profusely, and trying to mend the situation by giving in. “I shouldn’t have said that. My tone wasn’t right. This wasn’t right. I take responsibility. Please don’t do that again.” This is what is called rejection sensitivity, and it’s how they program you to become their psychological slave.
How do I know this? Because I’m talking about my past self. My mother would hang up on me the minute I showed any hint of personality. What type of personality? If I said no to something. For example, she wanted a certain amount of money that I couldn’t give her. She kept calling, and I kept saying, “No, it’s not possible. I can’t. I don’t have it.” She knew exactly which button to push because she had trained me to be sensitive to her abandonment. And on the last call, she hung up. What did that leave me with? Debilitating anxiety. How did I react? I gave in—I gave her all my savings just to please her. This is what is called a people-pleasing trauma response. Then we wonder where it comes from—this is where it comes from. So that’s their behavior: hanging up on you.
Number two: This is, in my opinion, the most annoying behavior a narcissist displays.
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