Ever had that gut feeling that something just isn’t right in your relationship? Especially when it comes to intimacy? If you’ve ever been involved with a narcissist, you probably know exactly what that feels like. In this article, we’re going to talk about 10 disturbing sexual behaviors that narcissists often display. When it comes to sex, narcissists don’t follow the same rules as everyone else. Their approach is different, and not in a good way. We’ll break down these 10 toxic patterns and look at why they’re so harmful, so you can spot the signs and protect yourself.
Number one: the hidden desires of narcissists. Narcissists are often experts at hiding who they really are, especially regarding their deeper desires and personal interests. They go to great lengths to create and maintain a carefully crafted image that fits in with what society considers acceptable or normal. On the surface, they may seem like perfectly conventional, even morally upright individuals—someone who appears stable, respectful, and grounded. But behind that public mask, there’s often a very different story. Their private urges and interests can be much more unusual and, in some cases, even deeply unsettling. These hidden sides of their personality are typically kept under lock and key, tucked away where no one can easily find them. It’s not that they don’t act on these desires; they’re just incredibly strategic about when, where, and with whom they reveal them. In many cases, you won’t even begin to notice anything is off until much later—sometimes after months or even years of knowing them. That’s because narcissists are highly skilled at putting on an act. They’ll say all the right things, behave the way they know is expected, and keep up appearances flawlessly. But all the while, there may be a whole other side to them that they’re keeping hidden from view. This can include things like secret sexual preferences that they don’t talk about openly. For example, they might be attracted to the same sex but never admit it, or they might be interested in group sex or other alternative lifestyles that they deliberately keep secret. Sometimes, these behaviors can cross into even darker or more troubling territory. To cover this up, they might go out of their way to present themselves as pure or even celibate. You might hear them claim they haven’t had sex in years or talk about their deep religious values and personal commitment to moral behavior. These statements can sound convincing, especially when delivered with confidence and sincerity. But often, this so-called purity is just another part of their performance—it’s a smokescreen meant to make you and everyone else believe they’re someone they’re not. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they might be involved in actions and behaviors that completely contradict the clean image they show the world. They may engage in risky, secretive, or even manipulative sexual behaviors that they never talk about openly. All the while, they’re working hard to keep their public reputation spotless. This duality—the polished exterior versus the hidden reality—is a major part of how narcissists keep control, showing the world one version of themselves while privately indulging in another. They’re able to protect their influence, maintain power over others, and continue their manipulations without being exposed. It’s this ability to manage and control their image so precisely while hiding things that would completely change how they’re perceived that makes them so difficult to truly understand until it’s too late.
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