Is it true that this clarity often feels heavy at first? Many people feel a deep sense of meaninglessness during this time. It’s almost a period of the dark night of the soul. You may feel like nothing makes sense—nothing. You might feel empty. And honestly, it should feel that way because your inner world is restructuring itself. You are stripping away the false reality the narcissist built for you. You will question your role, your position in their life, your place in the world, and their role in your destruction. It will dawn on you that it has been nothing but a waste of time. You will realize you’ve been trying to bring a dead person back to life, pouring your energy into a void, trying to resurrect a relationship that never actually existed. That realization, as painful as it may be, is what sets you free.
I’ve seen this happen often. It happened to me. Survivors wake up from the psychological coma during this time of awakening. It usually happens after two to three months, sometimes up to a year of complete predictability and following this boring routine. When you unplug from the chaos, you do not just see what was going on in your relationship; you start to see what is going on everywhere. It makes you clearer about everything. It isn’t just about the narcissist anymore; you begin to recognize how the world’s narcissistic systems function. You see how you have been caught up in those systems—at work, in family dynamics, and in society at large. It becomes a total unearthing and unfolding. You stop being a cog in the machine of toxicity. That’s why I label this boredom as spiritual awakening.
It isn’t just boredom; it is sacred meditation. It is a sacred spiritual meditation in which life pulls you in, almost paving a path for you. You just keep walking, and the final destination becomes your freedom. While you walk this path and experience this boredom, another protective mechanism kicks in: you keep to yourself. You do not have much time to make new superficial friends and connections. This means there are not many people they can weaponize against you.
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