I know some of you have been in narcissistic relationships for a long time, and some of you feel like you can’t escape. The big question is: do you ever get used to it? I would argue, no.
Getting accustomed to something means it happens so regularly that you adjust to it. For example, you might have a glitchy appliance that you figure out a workaround for, or you adapt to traffic on your commute, the weather, or the climate where you live by changing how you dress. It doesn’t mean you like it or that you’re okay with it—but you get used to it, right?
However, when it comes to someone else’s behavior, it’s much trickier to “get used to.” Take a friend who always takes forever to order food because she’s very particular, or a family member who’s always late. If you’re smart, you might even start lying about the time something starts, so they actually arrive on time.
Human beings are incredibly adaptable. We’ve evolved to use things like clothing, shelter, and now technology to survive in various environments. But can we ever get used to narcissistic abuse? Emotional abuse, betrayal, lying, invalidation, and gaslighting—if it happens repeatedly and is never going to change, like the weather or traffic—does it make sense to think we’ll just adjust to it?
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