Alarm bells go off in the narcissist’s mind because the narcissist needs you when you are a precious source of supply, so they need to know that you love them or care about them. That gives them hope that they can still manipulate you and control you. They cannot cope knowing that you don’t care about them or that you consider them irrelevant. No matter how much they have hurt you, in their minds, they don’t think it warrants you getting to the point of not loving or caring for them anymore. It comes as a shock to the narcissist when they realize they are about to lose someone who has been such a major source of narcissistic supply. So now, instead of doing things that would push you away, the narcissist starts behaving and doing things to pull you back into their arms.
And it’s the simple fact, which I discussed in this video, that the narcissist hates you but doesn’t want to let you go because you still have something they want. And the problem is that the narcissist cannot help falling back into their default destructive, abusive behaviors. They become too comfortable or rather bored and seem to forget that they need you. They are deluded into thinking that they have the final say and control in how you decide to live your life.
That is why when we take our power back and decide enough is enough, the narcissist goes back to the drawing board and pulls out the charm to remind you of who they could be or of who you fell in love with. That side of them is always there, but it is only brought forth when the narcissist thinks it is needed. Not because you deserve the love-bombing, but it’s all about if it benefits the narcissist to do so. When you stop caring for the narcissist, they start pretending to care in order to win your affections once more. Because only when you care can they manipulate you and control you.
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