And when that moment finally comes, when she decides she is done, there is no drama. There is no screaming match. There is no one last chance. You have to remember she has already mourned the loss of her parents while they were still alive. She has already grieved the childhood she never had. She has experienced the deepest heartbreak a human can feel—the realization that her caregivers did not protect her. Compared to that, breaking up with a narcissist is a walk in the park.
When the narcissist pushes her past that final line, she does not get angry; she goes cold. She enters the void. She looks at him and sees nothing. There is no love, no hate—basically nothing. She sees him for what he is: a toddler having a tantrum, and she’s tired of raising toddlers. The narcissist usually panics at this stage. He ramps up the love bombing, cries, and promises to change, but it’s like trying to warm up a corpse. The switch has been flipped. She cuts the cord and walks away without looking back because she knows that looking back only turns you into a pillar of salt.
If you are a self-raised woman listening to this, I want you to know something really important: the narcissist targeted you because he thought your trauma made you weak. He thought your history of giving made you a permanent servant. But he did not check the resume. He did not see that your trauma made you a warrior. He did not see that your history of giving was a survival strategy, not a personality defect. He regrets messing with you because you are the mirror he cannot break. You are the survivor he cannot destroy. You stood tall when your own foundation crumbled as a child. He never stood a chance against you.
You are not damaged goods; you are a fortress. And once the drawbridge goes up, it stays up. Now you may wonder at this point. You may feel confused. You may ask, “Well, if I am this strong, then why did I get trauma bonded in the first place? Why did I keep going back initially?”
Awakening the Warrior Within
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