A narcissistic family will treat you like an outsider eventually, which is another devastating part of this extremely painful experience. When you get into this family, you may treat them as your own, you may love them like you love your own siblings, you love your own parents. But then, slowly, they will treat you like an outsider. They will set standards, goals that you will never be able to achieve because it’s always going to be a moving target. You try, but nothing is enough, and the narcissist also takes part in their games. They may, in the beginning, give you that hope that “I am going to be there no matter what,” and you will try to rely on them. But slowly, slowly, they will break your trust, proving to you that they are no different than the rest of the family members.
The irony is the same narcissist who is just a phone call away from the ailing narcissistic parent or family member is never there for you. You may be struggling, trying with pain, you may need immediate medical attention. Where is the narcissist? Nowhere to be found, probably with his or her family. And the moment a call comes from their brother, from their sister, or anybody else, there goes the narcissist, running, going towards the family that is the origin of their toxicity, becoming the savior.
All of this makes you really think: I mean, is there anything wrong with me? Am I lacking something? What am I doing wrong? Because clearly, this person does have the potential to be there for others; he or she is there for their family. But when I need him or her, they’re not there. What’s going on? Do I need to change myself? Do I need to become better?
Why a Narcissist can Stay Married for decades
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