Your body changes the minute you give up on that narcissist. Any type of fear leaves your body as you fear losing nothing. You no longer care what the narcissist thinks or feels about you. You no longer hunch your shoulders, lower your voice, or make yourself small to avoid conflict. You sit tall. You breathe freely. You do not shapeshift for their comfort anymore. You hate their presence and feel nauseated by every fake emotion they display because you can now see through them clearly. You can feel how monstrous they truly are, and sharing the same roof feels suffocating. Even the way they eat, walk, or talk feels performative—so fake, so forced—because now you can see how everything they do is a performance. You hate being near them. You feel it in your body, your gut, and your skin. Every fake emotion they try to display, every forced “I’m sorry,” every pathetic “I love you,” every crocodile tear—it all makes you physically sick. You feel nauseated, as if your body wants to reject them the way it would reject poison. Because now, as I said, you can see it. You can feel the manipulation at a bone-deep level. The same hands that once touched you now feel filthy. The same voice that once pulled you in now makes your stomach turn. Nothing about them feels safe anymore. Nothing about them feels real.
The Profound Shift in Communication
The most profound shift you’ll ever experience is the complete absence of words where conversation once flowed effortlessly when you were still emotionally invested, when you were trauma bonded. Now, you find yourself struggling to string together even the simplest sentences. This isn’t a temporary loss of words; this is your authentic self recognizing that there is nothing left to communicate with someone who never truly listened in the first place. You will notice how you have to think a thousand times before speaking in two or three words. Every potential response feels forced, manufactured, and hollow. Your mind searches desperately for something genuine to say but finds nothing because there is nothing genuine left in this connection.
This is exactly how I felt towards the end of my relationship with my family, especially with my mother, because I was deeply trauma bonded to her. The person you once had endless conversations with, the one you shared your dreams and fears with, now feels like a complete stranger—actually, worse than a stranger—because at least with strangers, there is a potential for authentic connection as you get to know each other.
This verbal rot happens because your body has finally caught up with your mind; they are in sync. You have spent months, maybe years, trying to reason with someone who operates from a completely different reality. Your nervous system has finally recognized the futility of these interactions. The words dry up because your body is protecting you from further emotional harm.
Physical and Emotional Revulsion
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