As you get to the hour of departure, a similar pattern can arise when you see them again when they get back from the trip or when you get back from the trip. Instead of falling into each other’s arms with each other, you may find that your narcissistic partner, a narcissistic person, may be tentative, almost detached, and distant. These patterns are not uncommon in people who have these attachment issues — anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachments. And all of this is consistent with the idea that the upcoming departure starts triggering those primitive abandonment feelings, and the coming back together is actually kind of characterized by anger — ‘I can’t believe you left me in the first place.’
And this happens even if it’s the narcissist who is the one leaving on the trip. It doesn’t matter who’s going; it’s that you guys are parting ways for a little while. And all of this is because abandonment is a very primitive experience. It’s not an adult goodbye — ‘See you later; I’ll call you when I get there,’ and you feel confident that you will see them later. It’s the terror a baby feels because it doesn’t understand that their caregiver is something separate from them and they can’t understand what happens when that person leaves the room. It’s like a part of them goes.
It’s primitive, and the narcissistic person as an adult is obviously not in touch with this. As a result, when somebody in the adult relationship with them is going away or they’re going away for hours, days, maybe in some cases forever, internally, they experience it as a cataclysm.
Now, people with antagonistic personalities are high in equality called rejection sensitivity. The experience of rejection for them is emotionally unsettling, and they are often quite hyper-reactive in the face of any kind of rejection, even someone not wanting to come to their house for dinner. This is sort of a lower-grade level of abandonment fear; it may not be as big, but that rejection sensitivity can explain some of the excessive reactivity that rises in any form of criticism or, again, not showing up — you say, ‘I can’t come to lunch today,’ they may interpret that as a really primal loss of love or regard.
5 Evil Psychological Tactics a Narcissist Uses to Break You
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