Abandonment can even be experienced when somebody just goes away on a trip or goes to work or just goes home for a little while. Just that moment of separation activates something quite primal in people who are narcissistic. It’s not true that narcissists are immune to abandonment. For a variety of nuanced psychological issues, narcissists do not regulate abandonment well.
Some of this relates to work that comes from the world of attachment theories, which hold that people who have narcissistic personalities are likely to have attachment styles that are characterized by anxious, disorganized, or avoidant patterns. As a result, it can be very, very difficult at a primitive level for a narcissist, a narcissistic individual, to safely put roots down with another person.
For people with these kinds of attachment styles, the moment of departure is always very difficult for them. It activates all that attachment stuff. Now, some of you in relationships that are characterized by narcissistic patterns or who have been in these patterns in these relationships in the past, you may recognize this pattern.
Let’s say in a narcissistic relationship, you may need to have to be away from each other for a few days or a few weeks — a business trip or some other travel, a work thing, a family issue that needs to be dealt with. And the day of departure is getting closer and closer. You will notice that things will get more and more tense in your relationship, and the narcissist will get more and more agitated. They will start arguing with you about small things, and the relationship will just feel more difficult. You may feel frustrated because you want your last few days or hours with this person to be pleasant, but the more you try, the worse they behave, and you may get into a blowout battle on the way to the airport or whatever.
Proof a Narcissist Doesn’t Have Any Friends at all
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