When a narcissist decides to punish you, they give you the silent treatment and stonewall you. By doing so, they strangulate you psychologically, making you feel insignificant. They break your will and ensure you never say “no” again. But when a survivor of narcissistic abuse does the same—when they go silent on the narcissist—what are their intentions? What are they trying to achieve?
Understanding Narcissistic Silent Treatment
To begin, let’s differentiate between going silent on a narcissist and a narcissist giving you the silent treatment.
When a narcissist gives you the silent treatment, it is a cowardly punishment tactic designed to break you, punish you, or abandon you. It makes you feel insignificant and like a ghostly presence. You feel isolated, with no one around to support you. They withdraw, disconnect, and refuse to make eye contact, deliberately amplifying your feelings of rejection and worthlessness.
Narcissists typically resort to this behavior when you don’t comply with their demands, refuse to give in, or set boundaries. They need you to be a doormat, a toy to manipulate, and when you push back, they retaliate. They emotionally coerce you, guilt-trip you, and employ silent treatment as their weapon of choice. Sometimes, they even stonewall you—a more advanced form of silent treatment.
In this phase, they treat you as less than furniture, like a mere object to be used and discarded. They stop talking to you, eating with you, or sharing space in any meaningful way. This behavior is dehumanizing and deeply damaging.
I’ve personally experienced this with my father, and I can attest that it’s one of the most horrible feelings, especially when you’re still raw and trauma-bonded to the narcissist.
Survivor’s Perspective: Going Silent on a Narcissist
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