Secondly, threats turn them into a rage. When a narcissist feels threatened, you’re not dealing with the person you knew anymore; you’re dealing with something primal. Now, “threaten” doesn’t mean you pulled a knife or stormed their castle. It could be as simple as you knowing too much, standing up for yourself, or proving you don’t need them. That’s enough to flip the switch. In their head, it’s not just about losing face; it’s about losing control. And to them, control is life support. This is when the charm drops and the claws come out—not always in public, not always in ways the world can see. But you’ll feel it. The tone gets colder, and their patience vanishes. They’ll use every underhanded move in their arsenal—lies, gossip, calculated misunderstandings—to get you back in your place or push you out of the picture entirely. It’s not reason you’re fighting now; it’s survival instinct.
Third, the smear campaign begins. Narcissists don’t just fight you directly; that would be too obvious. They fight you through other people. It starts quietly; they drop a hint here, a concern there: “I’m worried about them; they’ve been acting strange lately.” Wrapped in concern, it sounds like they care. But what they’re really doing is poisoning the well. They’re planting doubts in the minds of people you both know long before you realize there’s a war on. By the time you catch on, the narrative is already spreading. And the worst part? Most of it isn’t an outright lie; it’s half-truths twisted just enough to make you look unstable, selfish, or untrustworthy. They know people are more likely to believe a story if they think they figured it out themselves, so they never force it. They just set it up and let gossip do the rest.
Fourth, they play the victim while plotting revenge. This is the part that makes your blood boil. In public, they’ll look wounded, hurt, and betrayed, as if you’ve turned on them for no reason at all. They’ll milk sympathy from anyone who will listen, spinning themselves as the one who tried to keep the peace. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they’re sharpening the knives. Every text, every meeting, every chance encounter is part of the plan to undercut you. This two-faced act works because people want to believe the one who looks vulnerable. And narcissists know exactly how to perform vulnerability in a way that makes you look like the aggressor. It’s theater, and they’re damn good at it.
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