Finally, we’re down to number ten: Struggling with authority figures. Authority figures, no matter how nice, can feel like ticking time bombs. Even when your manager is calm, supportive, and perfectly reasonable, your brain might still go into panic mode. Narcissistic parents or partners often used their power to control, humiliate, or manipulate you. So now, your nervous system treats any authority figures like a potential threat. Dr. Pete Walker, author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, explains that trauma survivors can develop what’s called a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to perceived authority. So if you’re tiptoeing around your boss or over-explaining everything, it’s not because you’re weak; it’s because your body’s just trying to protect you from a threat that isn’t really there anymore. The challenge is retraining your mind to see leadership as partnership, not punishment.
Healing from narcissistic abuse doesn’t stop when the abuser is no longer in the victim’s life. The fear, self-doubt, and need to stay invisible often follow victims into the workplace. These struggles are real, even if no one talks about them. If you’re going through it, you’re not weak; you’re surviving. And if you see someone struggling, a little kindness can go a long way.
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