6. You feel guilty for prioritizing yourself.
If you think putting yourself first is wrong, you might be prioritizing the wrong person. Narcissistic abuse conditions you to believe that your value lies in how much you give, serve, and endure. Every time you tried to set boundaries or prioritize yourself, you were met with guilt-tripping, accusations of selfishness, or the dreaded silent treatment until you caved. Over time, this conditioning became second nature, embedding the belief that your needs should always come last. Dr. Sheri Campbell, psychologist and author of But It’s Your Family, explains that narcissists manipulate by making you believe that love is something you earn through self-sacrifice. So even when you’re no longer in that toxic environment, choosing yourself still feels like breaking an unwritten rule. But here’s the truth: prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish; it’s survival. You can’t keep giving if you’re running on empty, and the people who truly care about you won’t demand that you destroy yourself to prove your love. The discomfort you feel when practicing self-care isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong; it’s a sign that you’re unlearning the lies you were fed. The next time guilt creeps in for choosing yourself, ask, “Would I judge a friend for doing the same?” If the answer is no, then why hold yourself to a different standard? You deserve the same kindness, care, and consideration that you so freely give to others.
In conclusion, narcissistic abuse doesn’t always announce itself with flashing lights and sirens. Sometimes it’s the quiet erosion of your confidence, the way you hesitate before speaking, or the exhaustion that never seems to go away. It sneaks into your daily life so subtly that you might not even realize it’s there until one day you do. But here’s the good news: awareness is the first step to breaking free. Once you start recognizing these silent signs, you can take back control, set boundaries, and rebuild the trust in yourself that was taken. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every step you take away from manipulation and toward self-trust is a victory. You deserve a life where you don’t have to walk on eggshells, so don’t be afraid to claim it.
Sharing is caring!
