Another simple situation that arises when living with a narcissist is when you have a schedule or want to spend money in a certain way that doesn’t coincide with what the narcissist wants. They may start telling you how to do things. What if you were to say something like, “I hear what you’re saying, but the good news is I’m still a free person, and I get to freely decide who I want to be. Freedom, being the privilege to choose, means I will manage my schedule and finances as I see fit. Is that okay?”
Some folks are afraid to acknowledge another person’s freedom because they believe that freedom leads to chaos or irresponsibility. While some people may misuse their freedom, that’s not what we’re discussing here. Each individual gets to determine who they want to be, and narcissists do not like that concept at all.
When you live inside a mindset of freedom, it means it’s your responsibility to ask the question, “Who am I?” The narcissist doesn’t want you to ask that question because they already have the answer: “You need to be what I tell you.” They have their agenda, but you get to decide what you think and how you interpret life. This question—”Who am I?”—is a cornerstone for you to ponder.
Whenever you’re criticized or coerced by the narcissist, you are not obligated to immediately comply. Instead, you can decide to see where your preferences lead you. If they want to coerce you, that’s their business. You can receive their opinions if they are logical, but if someone tries to impose their preferences on you, you don’t have to follow their agenda.
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