That is why Phase Five is crucial to discuss: the collapse. This phase is long-term with no end. If you stay no contact and refuse to be the toaster in the trash, they will eventually reach a state of collapse. They realize you are gone for good. This does not lead them to love you; it makes them hate you more. They will rewrite history one last time to portray you as the villain who abandoned them.
They will carry this regret for a long time, but it will be a bitter one—regret akin to a spoiled child who broke their favorite toy and has nothing to play with. They will blame the toy for breaking and the store for not having a new one, but they will never blame themselves for throwing it against the wall.
So, if you are sitting there waiting for them to realize what they lost, I want you to know this: they will. It is mathematically guaranteed. No one can tolerate them the way you did; no one will serve them or sacrifice their own happiness in the way you did. But when that moment comes, and they reach out with regret, do not mistake it for love, an apology, or true remorse—it is a hunger pang. They are realizing that life is cold and hard without their shield. You were the shield; you took the arrows for them, and now that you are gone, they are getting hit by reality, and it hurts.
Don’t be the shield anymore. Let them feel the cold; let them sit in their regret. That feeling of loss they experience is the only consequence they will ever face. Do not fix it for them; let them walk in the rain. You have your own road to travel, and for the first time in a long time, the sun is shining on it.
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