This is where Phase Four comes in—the starvation. This phase usually begins around month six and beyond. By this point, the new source of supply has typically run dry. The new partner is either fighting back, boring them, or has left because they realized the narcissist is extremely toxic. The narcissist is now starving.
You have to remember that a narcissist cannot generate their own self-esteem; they need it from others. When the new supply dries up, they start to panic; they feel empty, hollow, and agitated. This is when the regret hits its peak. They look back at you and rewrite history, all the while their brain conveniently deletes all the abuse they inflicted on you. They forget the screaming, the cheating, and the lies; they only remember that you were always there. They recall that you were the one person who didn’t leave, even when you should have. You were the sure thing.
This is when you get a text: “I was thinking about you; I found that old shirt of yours. I miss us. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself.” They’re not saying, “I am sorry I hurt you.” They’re saying, “I am hungry. Feed me.” They regret throwing away the best source of fuel. They feel the pain of inconvenience; they are lonely because they hate their own company. They are bored, empty, and they know that you are the only person who knows how to fill that void. They are reaching back because they are looking for familiar comfort—not because they have changed.
Conclusion: Understanding Narcissist’s Regret
continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!