Once they’ve secured someone’s admiration or loyalty, the narcissist shifts gears.
They start testing limits—pushing boundaries to see how much control they truly have. It’s not always loud or aggressive. Sometimes it’s quiet manipulation: guilt-tripping, withholding affection, or creating confusion (“Did I really say that?”).
This is where the narcissist’s addiction deepens. They begin feeding off another person’s emotional reactions. The more you try to please them, the more powerful they feel.
Control becomes their drug.
Love becomes currency.
And empathy—if it ever existed—fades into strategy.
4. The Cracks in the Mirror
No mask lasts forever.
Eventually, the illusion starts to crumble. Someone stops feeding their ego. A partner starts noticing the manipulation. A coworker calls out the lies. That’s when the narcissist feels something close to panic. It’s not fear of losing love—it’s fear of exposure.
To a narcissist, being seen as “wrong” or “weak” feels like annihilation.
So they project their flaws onto others: “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re crazy.” “You made me do it.”
They rewrite the story before anyone else can tell the truth.
In this stage, the narcissist becomes volatile. Their charm fades, replaced by anger, defensiveness, or self-pity. The mask slips—and what’s beneath it terrifies them.
5. The Discard
When control is lost, the narcissist discards the person who once gave them everything.
It’s sudden, cold, and confusing. One day you’re their world; the next, you’re invisible.
To outsiders, it looks heartless. To the narcissist, it feels necessary.
They convince themselves they’re the victim—that they were betrayed, disrespected, or suffocated. Anything to avoid facing the truth: they drained someone dry and can’t bear to see the emptiness they caused.
Behind the discard is deep shame, but they’ll never admit it. They run from it by finding a new “supply” as fast as possible. Because without someone to reflect admiration back, they start to feel hollow again—and that’s the feeling they fear most.
6. The Fall
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