Now, we must understand the truth about that regret. It’s essential to recognize the difference between remorse and regret because many survivors get trapped and confused. Remorse is when you feel bad because you hurt someone else; you see their pain and wish you could take it away. A narcissist is physically incapable of feeling this empathy. Regret, on the other hand, is when you feel bad because you hurt yourself.
Imagine you have a reliable car that gets you to work every day. It’s warm, safe, and never breaks down. But you grow bored and decide to sell it for a flashy sports car. Two months later, the sports car breaks down on the highway in the rain, and the repair bill is expensive. Standing in the rain, you regret selling the reliable car, saying, “I wish I still had that car.” But do you love the car? Do you care about its feelings? No. You’re just upset that you’re wet and inconvenienced.
When a narcissist regrets leaving you, they are essentially angry that they are walking in the rain. They are annoyed that their life has become difficult. They view people as objects. If you throw away a toaster and buy a new one that burns your toast, you regret throwing the old one away, but you don’t love the toaster. You just want toast.
That’s what is happening in their mind during this timeline: they’re not reflecting on their morality or thinking, “I lost a good partner.” No, they’re thinking, “I lost my service provider.” They are digging through the trash, which is the hoovering, because they want their toast.
Conclusion: Understanding Narcissist’s Regret
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