This brings us to Phase Two: the reality check. This is where the cracks start to appear. The newness begins to fade, the adrenaline of the breakup wears off, and real life sets in. If they are with a new partner, the honeymoon phase starts to end. Initially, the new partner provided an audience that clapped for the narcissist’s performance, but eventually, the new partner tries to be a real person—quite expectedly.
They may ask normal questions like, “Hey, why didn’t you pay the electric bill?” or “Can you help me with the dishes?” To a normal person, these are perfectly reasonable questions, but to a narcissist, this feels like an insult—an attack. They start to feel annoyed, thinking, “I left my ex to get away from this nagging, and now this new person is doing it too.” They begin to realize that this new person is a human being, just like you were, with needs—not a robot designed solely to worship their ego.
The illusion of the perfect savior who would never challenge them begins to crumble. Furthermore, the mundane parts of life start to pile up. You’re not there to manage the mess anymore, to remind them of appointments, soothe their ego after a bad day, or listen to the same old stories for the hundredth time. They start to feel some friction. The pink cloud is evaporating, and they are landing back on the hard ground of their own chaotic life. They begin to feel bored, and for a narcissist, boredom is terrifying.
Phase Three: The Comparison Game
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