1 they’re highly seductive
Initially anyway. People who land on the spectrum of destructive narcissism tend to use seduction as their primary means of connecting because they’re fundamentally incapable of bonding in a real and healthy way. So instead of working to foster healthy love and intimacy, things they know nothing about, it’ll be all about seducing you and the challenge of the conquest. And let’s be honest, a narcissist can be incredibly seductive, as well as charismatic and charming when motivated, and they’ll use their seductive charm and charisma to manipulate you into satisfying their own s.e.xual needs, desires, and fantasies. In the early stages of a relationship, they’ll likely shower you with attention, gifts, and praise in order to reel you in, only for you to realize down the track that the narcissist only cares about themselves and their own needs, and in reality, cares very little about you. 2 They move too fast.
Narcissists often wanna move real fast, too fast, and they get mad when you don’t or won’t. When you say no, not now, or not yet, it threatens their fragile, false persona and over-inflated ego. Your desire to go at a pace that’s healthy, safe, and comfortable for you will be perceived as a form of rejection, and although they may try to hide it, if you’re paying attention, you’ll see the emotional immaturity and the extent to which they are easily slighted as well as angered when they aren’t getting their way. Whatever you do, do not ignore this red flag.
3 They’re focused entirely on the physical.
Another sign you’re having s.e.x with a narcissist is you’ll notice that they’ll be focused on physical performance during s.e.x, with zero concern for emotional connection, true intimacy, vulnerability, or any real tenderness. What’s interesting is that the narcissist will expect that their partners be physically and aesthetically perfect, even when the narcissists themselves are far from perfect in this regard, and they’ll have little tolerance for any imperfections in physical appearance or performance for that matter. And who decides what these standards of perfection are? Well, the narcissist does, of course. And if you’re with them for any length of time, you’ll notice that the narcissist’s standards of perfection will be a constant moving target. No matter how hard you try, how lean, fit, or stunning you may be, it’ll never be good enough for the narcissist.
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