If you are looking for signs of regret in the narcissist during the first few weeks after a breakup, you won’t find them at all. In fact, if you look at their social media or listen to what they tell others—friends and family—you may feel as though you are going crazy. They seem happier than ever and act as if a tremendous weight has been lifted off their shoulders. In the beginning, the narcissist feels fantastic, floating on a pink cloud of freedom. They are convinced that you were the problem, telling themselves that you were the negative one who held them back. Now that they are free of you, they believe their life will be perfect. They are high on their own delusion, but reality always wins. What goes up must come down. The timeline of a narcissist’s regret is actually a timeline of their delusion slowly crashing into the ground.
There is a specific moment—a turning point—when the high wears off and withdrawal kicks in. That’s when they start to remember what you actually did for them and realize that the grass was not greener. No, it was just plastic grass painted over a sewer.
Phase One: The Manic Relief
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