So, how do you stop feeling like you’re on a rickety rowboat that could tip over at any moment? First, you need to remember that narcissists don’t see their problems—but they will see you as a problem if you try to point it out. Secondly, most healthy people want their distorted thinking challenged—not the narcissist. They are not a healthy person, and there is nothing you can do to make them healthy. In fact, the more you try, the more they become ingrained in their delusion. They have to hold onto their distorted truth to feel good about themselves. So, when you challenge them, you back them into a corner.
When you back a narcissist into a corner, you won’t be met with a meek puppy who sees the error of their ways. You’re going to get met with a rabid dog that turns and attacks you. Their defenses will escalate into a full-blown attack—not only blaming you for the original situation but adding additional charges. Now, you’re blamed for stressing them out, ruining the weekend, being a control freak, or being a nitpicker who can’t let things go. They lash out with comments like, “You see? I’m stressed out, and you just keep badgering me.”
There are times when we do need to back off and have better discernment with our timing. But when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you better be prepared to always back off to keep the peace. And no, it’s not the kind of peace the Bible talks about, because no matter what you say or do, it will always be your fault.
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