You must be vigilant, as this situation should serve as a warning flag that they are beginning to reveal their true character. But why is it impossible for narcissists to foster a genuine connection with others? Because they replace the natural energy and affection they receive from love with anger and hatred. Therefore, as soon as intimacy is not maintained, they immediately lash out emotionally, believing they have successfully hooked you.
This is why the trauma bond becomes dangerous; you begin to doubt whether they ever truly loved you. It’s essential to remember that they were pretenders all along and cannot reciprocate love. This realization will help you avoid getting stuck in a toxic cycle of seeking love from someone who is incapable of giving it.
Once the narcissist has concluded things with you, they are already searching for another person or are already texting numerous other candidates on the side. They are always on the lookout, seeking more opportunities to feed their addiction. Since they cannot find the right means for seeking love and connection like a normal person, this cycle repeats, contributing to the vicious cycle of narcissism.
It is true that we may be tempted to label all narcissists as demons. However, that kind of thinking is dismissive and unconstructive. Such thoughts cause us to be no better than the narcissists themselves, who label us as bad people to vindicate their wrongdoing. It is imperative to have a nuanced understanding of the situation. Maybe we are seeking love in unhealthy ways or exhibiting codependent tendencies. This is not to say that we are all bad people; rather, we must be accountable for our behaviors and aim to improve.
Realizing that our intimacy was never genuine can be challenging. Acknowledging that we were living a lie can be problematic, but our love for them often blinded us to the red flags. Only by looking inward and examining why we got trapped in toxic relationships can we identify the appropriate areas for improvement. Through personal development, we may move on and achieve genuine connections with people who can reciprocate our affection.`
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