In today’s article, we are going to explore and explain why so many adult children of narcissists seem to be attracted to emotionally unavailable people and why they find it so difficult to walk away from such relationships. This phenomenon is extremely common but very counterintuitive. Most of us would think that if you were raised by a narcissist, you would be on the lookout for people who are the polar opposite. However, usually, that is not the case. Today, I’m going to explain two reasons why this happens.
So today, we are going to dive into explaining why many children of narcissists tend to be attracted to emotionally unavailable individuals and why they find it so challenging to leave such relationships when their needs are rarely being met. As I mentioned, this is extremely common but completely counterintuitive. Many of us, myself included, are unaware of why we tend to only be attracted to emotionally unavailable people. It’s been a lifelong pattern of behavior on our part, and the first step to healing this destructive pattern is to understand why it happens and what the root cause is.
The first reason this happens is that if you were raised by a narcissist, you continually had to try to earn your parents love and affection throughout your childhood and even into adulthood. You have to understand that, for a narcissistic parent, love is 100 percent conditional. They only showed love when you met their specific conditions. For example, they might not show you any love if you were not a straight-A student or if you were not good at sports.
The bottom line is that children of narcissists had to work for their parents love, attention, affection, and protection. Because of this, if we are unaware of this fact or have yet to heal that part of ourselves, any adult romantic relationship that does not require this conscious effort on our part will feel unnatural, uncomfortable, and unworthy. It will be a foreign feeling to us, and more often than not, we will end up rejecting this love interest.
What Narcissists Do When A Relationship Ends
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