Phrase number four: “Learn to love, not hate; and to forgive, not blame.” This phrase, seemingly wholesome, becomes a weapon in the hands of a narcissist. On the surface, it sounds like a call for compassion and understanding; however, in the context of a narcissist using it, it demands unconditional love and forgiveness without them taking responsibility for their actions—basically, unconditional acceptance. They are suggesting that any anger or blame you are holding onto is misplaced and that you are the one in the wrong for holding them accountable. It’s another tactic to shift responsibility away from them and onto you. It is their way of saying, “I am not the problem—you are for your inability to forgive and forget.”
“Why don’t you do something to amuse me?”
Phrase number five: “Why don’t you do something to amuse me?” This phrase starkly demonstrates a narcissist’s self-centered mindset and objectification. When a narcissist says, “Why don’t you do something to amuse me?” they are effectively reducing your role to that of an entertainer—an object whose sole purpose is to cater to their amusement. The narcissist’s sense of entitlement is evident here; they believe they should be the center of attention, the focus of all activities. They dismiss your needs, desires, and feelings, reinforcing the idea that you exist only to serve them. Your value in their eyes is tied to your ability to keep them entertained and satisfied, which is why they always want you to do something for them.
Through this phrase, the narcissist is objectifying you. You’re not seen as a person with thoughts, feelings, and desires but as an object existing for their pleasure. This form of dehumanization can break you at the soul level and make you feel used and abused.
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