This is when things shifted. I wasn’t constantly checking my phone anymore.
I wasn’t obsessively replaying conversations, wondering what I “did wrong.”
I started seeing things clearly.
Looking back, I realized how much of myself I had lost. I stopped wearing things they didn’t like. I stopped talking to people they didn’t approve of. I even stopped laughing too loudly because they said it was “annoying.”
Like… who was I even?
Around this time, I started slowly rebuilding myself. I bought clothes that made me happy. I went out for coffee alone. I reconnected with friends I hadn’t seen in years because the narcissist made me feel guilty for having a life outside them.
It wasn’t instant, but I felt tiny sparks of happiness.
The weird thing was, the more I remembered who I was, the angrier I got at them — and at myself for letting it go on so long. But I also forgave myself, because narcissists are experts at manipulation. It wasn’t my fault.
3. Month 4: The Hoovering Came, Just Like People Warned Me
I wish I could say it was smooth sailing, but no.
Narcissists hate losing control. And when they realize you’re slipping away — when your energy is no longer feeding their ego — they come back. It’s textbook.
For me, it was a random DM:
“Hey… been thinking about you… hope you’re doing okay.”
In the past, I would’ve felt butterflies. I would’ve replied in a heartbeat.
But this time, it just pissed me off.
I knew exactly what it was: a hook. A bait. A test to see if they could still pull my strings.
I didn’t reply. I blocked them again. And let me tell you… it felt AMAZING.
I won’t lie, though — for a few days, it stirred everything up again. The doubt, the old feelings, the urge to respond.
But I stayed no contact. I knew the cycle. I wasn’t going back to square one.
4. Month 5: The Freedom Became Addictive
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