I didn’t plan for it to be six months. To be honest, when I first cut off all contact, I wasn’t even sure if I could last a week.
If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you know exactly what I mean — it’s not just leaving a person, it’s leaving behind a cycle, an addiction, a rollercoaster of emotions you somehow became used to. It’s messy. It’s confusing. It hurts more than anyone on the outside can really understand.
I used to roll my eyes when people talked about “going no contact.” I thought it sounded dramatic. I thought it was impossible. I thought, “They’ll change,” or worse… “Maybe it was my fault.”
But deep down, I knew I was mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, and slowly losing pieces of myself.
The final straw wasn’t even one big dramatic fight. It was a quiet moment where I realized, “I don’t even recognize who I am anymore.”
And just like that, I blocked them. Phone, social media, everything. No warning. No explanation. Just… gone.
I figured I’d cave after a few days. I figured the guilt and the fear of being “the bad guy” would pull me back in.
But I surprised myself.
The first few days were hell. The first few weeks felt like withdrawal.
But as time went on… something shifted.
Six months later, I’m writing this because I’m finally on the other side — and what I discovered during this no-contact journey completely changed me.
If you’re in that place of confusion, wondering if you should stay, wondering if no contact is even worth it… this is what happened to me. The good, the bad, the ugly — all of it.
Let me walk you through it.
1. The First Few Weeks: It Literally Felt Like Detox
I’m not exaggerating — it felt like going through withdrawal. The same cravings, the same racing thoughts, the same anxiety.
I had spent so long being addicted to this toxic cycle of being love-bombed and devalued, praised and discarded, that when it suddenly went silent… my brain freaked out.
I kept reaching for my phone, almost texting them, almost checking their Instagram stories. I had to physically stop myself.
It’s crazy, because logically I knew this person was toxic. They gaslighted me, manipulated me, made me feel small.
But emotionally? I felt like I lost a part of myself.
There were moments where I cried until I couldn’t breathe, moments where I thought I made a mistake. I told myself, “Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’m being dramatic.”
But every time I had the urge to break no contact, I forced myself to write down all the cruel things they said, the times they made me feel worthless, the endless mind games.
It was painful, but it kept me from going back.
2. Around Month 2: The Fog Started to Lift
This book helped me break free — it might help you too: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
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