I always say, your gut is your second brain. It picks up on the information that your conscious brain cannot. When you are with a narcissist, your body starts showing you signs that do not make sense. It tries to communicate with you the reality you are not able to perceive consciously. It tries to show you the predator that you cannot see with your eyes because behind that facade of the narcissist is a hunter that is trying to lure you into the cage, into the trap they have set for you.
Behind that idealization is actually the rottenness your body is trying to help you see: those sudden rashes, acute migraines, stomach ache, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), chronic pain, nerve issues, shaking, tingling, that heaviness on the chest, brain fog, nightmares—things that were not there. Why are they coming up? Amen.
There is nothing to be perceived as a threat, at least that is how you feel consciously. Obviously, you wonder why. Why is it going on? Because there is no explanation to any of this. You blame it on the food you had last week or the environment. But actually, it is the predator sitting next to you who is your biggest enemy. Your body’s energy, your intuition, is reading that. It is assessing that information, and the alarm system goes off, and it tells you, “Run! Run to the hills!” But because we have been programmed to suppress our intuition, and the narcissist is a master manipulator, which is still fall for the trap.
Today’s article is going to be all about understanding your body’s wisdom, how it tries to communicate with you in the early stages of a narcissistic relationship, and why do we suppress it.
Your body has the capability and the capacity to heal itself, to restore itself, and to scan your environment to tell you exactly what is going on. This is the theory that I believe in, this is what I practice with the people that I help, and this is what has helped me to become whole, to heal myself inside out. Let me share this philosophy with you.
Think about this for a moment: You, in your body, there are so many vital organs. For example, your heart. It is a miracle, a proper miracle. Is there any machine as perfect as your heart? It has been beating since the day it was formed in your mother’s womb, and it’s going on. There is nothing that it’s repairing that is changing anything in it. It’s going on, and it will keep beating until the very end. There is nothing as perfect as that. Yes, there are biological mechanisms, this, that, and the other, that run it, but the matter of fact is that it is there, and where is it? In your body. And it’s continuously going on. Do you have to think about it? Do you have to run it? No, you don’t have to. You just leave it. It’s going on. You live your life. It’s doing its work. It’s keeping you alive.
Similarly, you have this digestive system, a very sophisticated system that converts the food that you enjoy, that you eat, you swallow it, and it converts it to energy. Do you have to do all the mechanical work? Of course not. You don’t. You just have to leave it there, and it’s done. Why am I sharing this with you? I’m sharing this with you because to help you understand that your body holds all these sophisticated, complex, miraculous systems that run you, that make you who you are. Your nervous system, your reproductive system that has the capacity to create another life, your excretory system. I mean, I can go on with these biological aspects of our body, but the point that I’m trying to make here is if your body has that capacity, if it is a container of these miracles, it’s a given that it would be equipped enough to properly survive and thrive in any environment that it is put in.
This is why, when you are with a narcissist, it tells you a lot more than you can see, than you can hear, and than what they tell you. Because the narcissist puts up a facade consciously able to bypass your critical factor, they fool you into thinking they are a wonderful man, a wonderful woman, or an amazing woman. But actually, they are something else, and that is what your gut, your body, your intuition, your higher self, call it whatever you want to—picks on, and that is when it starts acting out. You start getting these acnes, these hives, these rashes. You have brain fog, suddenly you have migraines you never had. Your body doesn’t want to eat, it throws it out. Or you have constipation, nothing is going out. Why, you may wonder?
Your body is activating the survival response. It is bracing for the impact because it knows there is a lot to come. That stomach ache is basically a form of crying. Your stomach is crying. It knows that you are going to experience the pain in the future and it’s going to be terrible for you. They will make you question your judgment, they will dissociate you from your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings, and that is when it’s going to be really horrible for you. They will attack your identity that you have created from all the experiences you have had since conception, since birth, and all of that is going to be attacked.
So it prepares for the crash landing, and that’s why you have these issues. It’s like your body is screaming, “Run! Run to the hills! Don’t look back! This person is thinking of destroying you. That is their agenda. They want to use you. Don’t get used. Please don’t look back.” But because we have been programmed into thinking that our intuition, our feelings are wrong, “Why are you so emotional? It’s just a feeling. It’ll go away. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t have any special meaning. Why are you holding on to that? Let go of the past. Just don’t lie and don’t moan.” But all that crazy that is being told, it’s all an attempt to disconnect us from our true nature, and the narcissist basically reinforces the same when they show up through their facade, through their gaslighting. What do you think love bombing is? It is a form of gaslighting. They are not showing you what they really are. They are hiding their reality. They are making it seem like a dream when it basically is nothing but a mirage. So they reinforce that disconnect we already have from intuition.
This disconnect is also further reinforced by narcissistic cultures, narcissistic systems, not only our parents if you have had narcissistic childhood abuse, then this is a pattern. So that is why we do not listen to our body, that is why we do not listen to our intuition, and we miss on the most important thing, the thing that could have saved us from so much pain, from years of trauma, from years of suffering, from so heavy grief. We miss on that because of the facade of the narcissist.
Now you don’t have to blame yourself. This is the thing. You don’t have to blame yourself. You don’t have to call yourself a fool because you are not aware of actually what was going on, and as a good, empathetic human being, the tendency of yours is to see good in others. If someone shows you they are nice, you would naturally believe that, then think, “Well, what must be behind that mask?”
Now after being betrayed, probably you question people’s motives, which is good to a certain extent, but back then you didn’t have that capacity, and that’s why self-blame doesn’t work. What works is radical self-acceptance and connecting with your intuition. And I firmly believe that healing after narcissistic abuse is incomplete without healing the connection with your intuition. It is all about developing a connection with your true, authentic self so that you can become who you are actually.
It’s not about becoming something that is best, something that is better than who you are presently. It is about homecoming. It’s about coming back to yourself. It is about connecting with that voice so that if a predator shows up in your life again, you’re instantly able to catch them and listen to your body and say, “No. Hell no. I’m not going to settle for this. This is what it seems to be. My body is acting out. These rashes are not a nuisance. It’s my body crying, telling me, ‘Hey, you need to run away.
This is what is going to happen to you emotionally.’ Those migraines, it’s my body telling me that the pain that you’re going to experience where the narcissist is going to be a thousand times more intense than what I’m showing you. Run away. Pay attention.” All I want you to do now is, if you have missed it, I want you to pay attention in every single way you can to your intuition, to what it tells you in different aspects, in different ways, and in different environments. That is very important. If you miss on learning that lesson, then unfortunately, I have to say this, you’re doomed to repeat the same cycle. How do you break that cycle? The key is to listen to your intuition. They always say it, but it is not emphasized enough. It’s not said how actually you have to get into the body. You have to learn how your body speaks.
Let me ask you a question: How do you know you’re hungry? You feel hungry. That’s it. That’s what you can say. Your body shows a specific sensation here in the gut area, in the abdominal area. How do you know you need to pee? You feel it. How do you know you need to sleep, you need to rest? You know it. You feel it. How do you know you’re thirsty? Same way, your intuition shows you. You have to strengthen that connection. You have to listen to it. You have to practice what we call practical mindfulness, awareness of what is going on in there. And I can promise you, if you’re able to do that, you will never ever end up with a narcissist ever again.
In conclusion, we can say your body is your biggest ally, your biggest asset when fighting with the narcissist, when recognizing a narcissist. There is no test stronger than that, no assessment stronger than that. You have to come back to yourself, and you will be safe forever.
