This is part of what is going on. They have this irregularity; they’re not able to self-soothe. So they need this confirmation, they need this validation from other people. You know what? It’s not just you that they’re getting this from; they’re getting it from other people because, again, like I said, there’s a sensational need that never gets met. It doesn’t matter how much love you show them, how much unconditional love you give them, how much patience, compassion, empathy you show them; it is not enough. They want more because there’s this inability to self-soothe.”
There’s this instability in mood, in perceiving outside information or stimuli within your environment, to be able to self-soothe, to be able to perceive the information when someone is giving you unconditional love that you understand that that is what that person is giving. They don’t see emotions and people in the same way that you or I do. What they see is your unconditional love. They don’t see the emotion; they don’t see the hard work and the energy that you have put into it. What they see is something that they expect from you. There’s an expectation for you to provide this for them.”
So, how much can you give? How much is enough? Well, actually, they want you to do this all the time. And there is an expectation for you to do it all the time. They need you to do it all the time; they expect you to do it.”
At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist would have worked really hard to get you on their side, meaning they would have mirrored you, they would have obsessed over you, they would have put you on a pedestal. They would have made sure that you felt good at the beginning so that you became hooked and that you fell in love with them. They told you also that they love you, and you fell in love with a version of the narcissist, a version that actually doesn’t exist, that cannot exist forever.
7 Early Warning Signs of a Narcissistic Partner
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