How a Narcissist Faces Their Karma Through Self-Sabotage

Narcissists are terrified of failure, so much so that it paralyzes them into inaction. They fantasize about their goals but rarely take steps to achieve them. Instead, they come up with excuses—blaming others for their lack of success. They’ll say it’s because they don’t have enough money, time, or support. This fear sabotages their potential growth, as they dismiss opportunities and convince themselves they weren’t worth their time in the first place.

4. They reject help to maintain superiority.

Ultra-independence can be a trauma response, but for narcissists, it’s about maintaining superiority. Accepting help would mean admitting they are vulnerable or need someone, which makes them feel weak. For instance, when my father got sick, he would isolate himself, refuse help, and become enraged if anyone even asked how he was doing. This behavior wasn’t just strange—it was about refusing to appear dependent on anyone.

5. They overcommit and overpromise to prove their importance.

Narcissists crave admiration and importance. They overcommit and make grand promises to make others think they are the most capable person in the room. But when it comes time to follow through, they disappear or pretend the conversation never happened. My mother used to do this—making promises she never intended to keep, all to feed her ego in the moment.

6. They alienate allies through gossip.

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