“You always like to self-sabotage and self-destruct.”
Imagine you’re preparing for an important meeting, one that could define your career. The narcissist knows how much it means to you, and yet, just before it, they pick a fierce fight. Why? Because they want to sabotage you. They can’t tolerate your happiness or see you succeed.
When their fight leaves you distracted and unable to perform at your best, they never look inward. Instead, they tell you, “You always self-sabotage. You ruin everything.” They’ll claim you triggered them and made them react the way they did. It’s all your fault.
This relentless blame convinces you that you’re the problem, making you feel like you don’t deserve success or happiness. But the truth is, the narcissist is the chaos merchant here, creating the storm to keep you in misery.
3. Claims of Abandonment
“You’re abandoning me. You always abandon the family.”
Whenever you try to take a breather from the toxicity, whether it’s going on a short vacation or simply stepping away for some space, they’ll initially act supportive. They’ll say, “Go ahead, take a break. I’ll handle everything.”
But later, they’ll weaponize your actions against you, accusing you of abandoning them. They’ll say, “How could you do this to our family? You’re so selfish.” They hold onto grudges, waiting for the right moment to unleash their resentment, especially when they see you happy or relaxed.
The truth is, you’ve never abandoned them. You’re the one surviving their abuse, and taking time for yourself is your fundamental right.
4. You Always Want to Fight
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