So instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” start asking, “What is this teaching me?” Because that thorn isn’t there forever; it’s there until the lesson is burned into your spirit. Once you get it, you’ll see it wasn’t a narcissist that defeated you; it was a narcissist that revealed you.
Second, the mirror of brokenness. Have you ever noticed how a narcissist has this uncanny ability to hit your soft spots? They know exactly where to poke and which wound to press, and it hurts like hell, right? But let’s be real—they couldn’t hit that nerve if it wasn’t already exposed. That’s the brutal part nobody wants to admit. The narcissist is a mirror—a cracked, distorted, ugly mirror, but a mirror nonetheless. They reflect your brokenness back at you: the insecurities you buried, the patterns you ignored, the old scars you swore were healed. Suddenly, they’re glowing neon under the light of their cruelty.
As much as you want to smash that mirror, maybe it’s there for a reason. God doesn’t expose wounds to shame you; He exposes them to heal you. The narcissist doesn’t show you who you are; they show you what still needs to be mended. Pain is often revelation in disguise. If you’re brave enough to stare into that cracked mirror, you’ll realize the very thing they mocked in you is the exact place God wants to restore.
Third, the lesson in boundaries. Let’s cut straight to it: narcissists are master pushers. They push your patience, your kindness, until you’re stretched so thin you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. But there’s a hidden gift in that pressure; it forces you to learn the power of boundaries. Boundaries are like fences. Without them, anyone can trample through your yard, dump their garbage, and leave you cleaning up the mess. A narcissist will test that fence daily, pounding at the gate, demanding entry. When you finally slam it shut and lock it, that’s the day you realize boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re sacred. God uses their manipulation to teach you the holy art of saying no. Because love without limits isn’t love—it’s slavery. And every time you say “yes” when your soul screams “no,” you’re chaining yourself to someone else’s madness.
When a narcissist demands more and you finally stop giving, that’s not weakness; that’s wisdom. That’s you stepping into the authority God gave you over your own life.
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