As narcissists age, life has a way of confronting them with consequences. Friends drift away. Relationships grow distant. Family members learn to set boundaries. Career paths may stall or collapse under the weight of their behavior. When they begin to feel the sting of isolation or irrelevance, some narcissists do experience a form of regret. They may look back and wish they’d acted differently—not because they’ve developed compassion, but because they now face loneliness, loss, or a tarnished legacy. Yet even then, that regret is more likely to fuel bitterness or self-pity than true personal change.
A key challenge for narcissists in feeling genuine regret is their persistent belief that the problem lies outside of themselves. In their eyes, it was always the other person who was too sensitive, too demanding, or too ungrateful. They tell themselves they gave everything they could, even if what they offered was only ever conditional love or surface-level charm. To acknowledge otherwise would mean tearing down the protective wall they’ve built around their ego—a wall that’s taken years, sometimes decades, to construct.
There is also a darker side to how narcissists engage with their past. Some may romanticize old relationships or experiences, not out of love or nostalgia, but as a way of feeding their narrative. They may rewrite history to make themselves the hero or the victim, depending on what garners the most sympathy or admiration. When confronted with the reality of what really happened, they’ll often lash out, become defensive, or retreat into denial. That’s because regret, when it threatens their self-image, isn’t just painful—it’s humiliating.
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