In closing, the tragedy isn’t that you were never loved; it’s that the person you loved was never capable of meeting you there. That’s not your fault. You didn’t imagine the connection; you just misjudged its depth. You loved with your whole heart, and they loved with their fear, ego, and wounds. That doesn’t invalidate what you felt; it confirms it. In fact, one of the most empowering moments in recovery is realizing that the love was real because it came from you. You were the source of it, and you still are. The question isn’t whether they ever loved you; the question is, what will you do now with all the love you still have to give? My advice: let it nourish you this time. Let it rebuild your nervous system, restore your dignity, and reshape your life. Because that’s not the end of the story; it’s the beginning of your freedom. When we finally start giving ourselves the unconditional love, compassion, respect, empathy, and support that we would give anyone else that we love, and when that becomes the foundation of our existence, we will never lower our standards to be in a relationship. Nor will we ever tolerate abusive, cruel, or neglectful behavior from anyone. Once we finally give to ourselves what we were trying to get the narcissist to give us, who is incapable and unwilling to do so, everything changes. That, my friends, is when the healing truly begins.
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