As you invest in your primary relationships, there are certain basics you want to maintain so that the relationship can have the deepest level of reward for you. It can be something that brings out the very best in you and encourages those around you to be their best as well. Among these healthy characteristics are qualities like openness, mutual curiosity about one another, and a sense of accountability.
Openness, Mutual Curiosity, Accountability
You want to foster a sense of teamwork that says, “I want to share with you who I am, and I want to know who you are so we can combine our resources, encourage each other, and stimulate each other as time goes on.” That’s how healthy relationships work.
Now, let’s introduce a narcissist into the mix. This is when things start to get complicated. Narcissists don’t want to have that sense of teamwork. They want you to be on their team, but what that means to them is that they want you to be subordinate to them.
Narcissists carefully construct their own narrative where they are the hero, the winner, the one who knows best. As a result, you won’t get honesty from them. They don’t want to be seen as part of the group; they need to be perceived as being a little above everyone else. Self-revelation is not something they are comfortable with—they are very calculated, always aiming for an angle.
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