You may wonder, are they that petty? Well, if you have experienced narcissistic abuse, you know what I’m talking about. A narcissistic person can abuse you using a pillow. Now, you may wonder how someone can abuse you using a pillow. Let me tell you how. You may have noticed how they put a pillow between you and them in bed to punish you when they’re not on good terms with you.
It’s one of the most painful experiences of a narcissistic relationship because that pillow is not just a pillow; it becomes a wall, a barrier, a silent message that cuts deeper than any insult. It tells you—without a single word—that you are no longer wanted, that your presence does not comfort them, that your body, warmth, and love all mean nothing to this monster anymore.
Narcissists know exactly how much that pillow hurts you emotionally. They know that for you, physical closeness is not just touch; it is safety, connection, grounding, and reassurance. So when they push that pillow between you, they’re not creating space; they are creating rejection. They slowly shift away from you. They know very well that the pillow placed between your bodies will do the job of silently punishing you, filling the room with coldness while they act like nothing has happened.
This is how they hurt you without touching you, without saying a word—by turning something as soft as a pillow into a weapon of emotional abandonment. Just like the pillow, blankets and quilts become another weapon in their silent abuse. A narcissist knows exactly how much the blanket means during the night: warmth, comfort, safety—the feeling of being held even when no one is touching you.
They use it to punish you in the most subtle and cruel ways. They pull the blanket away from you in the middle of the night, leaving you freezing while they wrap themselves tightly and leave you uncovered. They turn their back and cocoon themselves in it so you physically cannot reach them, even if you try. How do I know this? I’ve seen it all my life in my home. It used to happen to my mother. Unfortunately, she’s also affected now. But I saw it happening—my father would do it all the time.
In isolation, these things look petty. They seem so small that people might think, “What are we even talking about?” But this is emotional starvation. It feels like they are reminding you that you’re not allowed to feel warm, you’re not allowed to feel held, and you’re not allowed to feel comfortable. They do this to show you that you do not have access to them. They know exactly how painful it is when someone you love sleeps inches away from you but makes you feel like you don’t exist. They hide inside their blanket to disconnect. They use it like armor—a shield that blocks your presence and tells you without saying, “You are alone, even next to me.”
Number Four: Bathroom—A Place of Emotional Torture
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